Lady Lazarus

Self-Loathing

2010-05-13T10:19:00.000-07:00

So..I'm kind of starting to hate this blog.

It's not because I feel the need to post regularly, obviously this is not something that weighs heavily on my mind, it's more that I am starting to regret some of what I have posted.

The big news in my world lately is that I am in fact not going to Sarah Lawrence in New York. My god, after all this flip-flopping between law school and grad school, once I had thought I knew what was in my future it gets completely turned around again. Why am I not going, you may ask? Well, after doing some research into the status-quo of what grad school is supposed to be like, I discovered that SLC does not offer what almost all grad schools do: Fellowships. Almost all graduate history programs offer their grad students fellowships which serve to reduce or even waive full tuition costs in exchange for teaching or serving as a research assistant to a faculty member. Well, SLC doesn't believe in this apparently, and as a result, my tuition there would have been 5x that had I attended almost any other grad school. This pissed me off. I initially felt relieved that I had caught myself before getting completely duped into taking a heinous amount of student loans (which by the by, were not even enough to cover tuition and living expenses), but then that familiar feeling of panic set in. What was I going to do with my life?!

After contacting U of O about my dilemma, they graciously agreed to let me enroll in their law program this fall. So after all those applications and all that talk about moving across the country, ironically, I'm staying right where I am. This is actually okay with me. The truth of the matter is I love this place, it's a great place to live, work and attend school, and I really like the thought of becoming a lawyer and serving my community.

So, that's the plan. School starts in August and I am excited and frightened of what lays ahead of me.

April 15th, eh?

2010-04-15T10:53:00.000-07:00

So as many Americans know, today is an important day. It's tax day. But, if you had the pleasure to be someone who applied to law school, today is also an important day. It's decision day. The day on which most, if not all schools require you to commit to their school by submitting a seat deposit. While those future students who are financially able may submit multiple deposits to multiple schools in order to delay the decision making, for most prospective students April 15th is the day of reckoning.

I have decided to turn in a deposit at Sarah Lawrence for their graduate program. I'm still waiting to hear back from Pace University (a late application) to see if I would be eligible to do a joint degree JD/MA with them and SLC. I received my admissions packet from U of O a few weeks ago. It was really tempting to think about staying in Eugene, especially because the extreme difference in the cost of attendance and cost of living, but I feel like maybe leaving my familiar place and university would be good for me.

Dilemma(s)

2010-03-15T14:39:00.000-07:00

I appologize to my readership (lol) that I have not been very dutiful in updating my blog. It's not that things haven't been happening, it's just that I really don't know what to say about what has been happening.

I guess I'll start by saying that, well, I have been keeping something from you. Yes, that's right, a secret. All these months now that I have yapping away about applying to law school, I neglected to tell you that I also applied to one lone graduate school. And guess what? I got in. At the beginning of the month I received a personal email from the director of the Women's History Master's program at Sarah Lawrence in New York offering me a position in their program. I was psyched, but mostly I was surprised because I had nearly forgotten about even applying.

But then something strange happened. I started thinking about how excited the prospect of going to grad school made me and I began to realize how much I was dreading going to law school. It was strange timing really, because a good friend of mine who is a current 1L (first year law student) had told me the week before that he wasn't going back to law school next year, but that he was going to become a police officer. I was shocked by his news but I was also envigorated and alarmed. His story made me think about my own decision to go to law school and made me realize that maybe there was another path for me. I started running all of the usual questions through my head: Why was I even going to law school? Did I want a traditional desk job? Would I be happy at law school? Would I enjoy being a lawyer? Is it a good decision to get a Master's Degree in Women's History? How can I afford to live in New York? Will I be as successful in grad school as I was in undergrad? Should I wait another year to save more money? Should I travel more before going back to school? What should I do with my life?!

God, these questions have been killing me. I have been so focused on law school for so long that this new development has totally made me snap out of my must-go-to-law-school robot-mentallity and has gotten me to thinking that maybe something other path would be better for me...

In other news:
In at:

Tulane ($7,500/year scholarship, but tuition alone is $42,000/year)
Lewis and Clark (No Scholarship)
Loyola LA (No Scholarship)
George Mason (Still haven't gotten my financial aid from them)

Out at:

Berkeley
University of Texas

Waitlisted:

Northeastern(Withdrew)
Washington & Lee
University of Georgia

Seat deposits for the schools I've been accepted to are due in April. Man, that is just around the corner. Looks like I'm going to need to make some decisions soon here...

Fin!

2010-02-12T14:57:00.000-08:00

Well, another week is just about over. No news from schools today (at least no emails/calls...I'll have to check the mail when I get home to confirm this statement). I am starting to think that the Snowmageddon on the East coast is playing a role in my delayed responses. A handful of the schools I applied to are in the areas affected by the blizzards. Grr. But that doesn't explain why UCLA still hasn't called :( Sad face.

At least I get to leave work early today, only about 30 minutes left. Then off to the gym for a run. Last night I was really proud of myself. I ran an entire 2 miles on the treadmill without my iPod! The 2 miles part is more shocking than the iPod part, but music is usually what keeps me going.

That's all for now. The boring nature of my day is seeping into this post, and I dont' feel that it's right to subject you (whoever, if anyone, is reading this...) to that sort of torture.

Signing off...

Nothing...Nada....Zip!

2010-02-10T10:36:00.000-08:00

Yep, that's right, no new news! Honestly, I'm getting really tired of this whole situation. I would be lying if I said that I wasn't having doubts. And I mean all sorts of doubts. The following questions have been flooding my brain for the last few days:

Do I need to leave Oregon for school?
Can I afford to leave Oregon for school?
Can I afford to go to school, period?
Do I want to be a lawyer?
Can I survive in law school?
Am I ready to start law school?
Should I travel more?
Should I take more time off before starting school?
Should I wait a year and re-take the LSAT?
What do I want in this life?

I hate all of these questions. I wish this was easy, that I didn't have to worry about money or relationships or failure. I wish I could be the type of person to take the bull by the horns and do what needs to be done, but mostly I wish I knew for sure what needs to be done.

Sometimes I feel like this law school stuff is all just some overblown fantasy that I have created in my mind. I have envisioned the possibility that I will become some great attorney like the ones you see on prime-time dramas, walking the streets of New York in my power suit, starbucks in hand. But then I return from the dream to discover that I have never been to New York and that I don't even know what it means to be an attorney like that.

I feel like I'm back where I started before I took the LSAT, before I wrote my PS, before I applied to all of those schools. Back at square one.

A glimmer of hope...

2010-02-05T09:16:00.000-08:00

Just when I thought that there was no chance for me to get any news this week from schools, yesterday I received a phone call from George Mason (in Arlington, Virginia). I had done my ritualized status check dance and noticed that my George Mason status had changed. It very ambiguously stated "A decision has been reached, you will receive your decision in the mail in 2-4 weeks." At that point I was like, What?! I have to wait that long?!!! Frustrated, I went to http://www.top-law-schools.com/ (herein after referred to as TLS) a forum about law schools and acceptances, etc. which is quite possibly the most helpful and most damaging forum ever (mostly to one's self esteem) I went to the GM forum and saw that others had received the same change in status, but shortly after had gotten a phone call offering an acceptance. So basically I figured that if I didn't get a phone call that day, then I would be getting a very disappointing letter in the mail, in 4 weeks...

Guess what?! They called. They offered. I said Thank You.

I don't have to commit until April, so I will definitely be waiting to hear back from more schools. GMU isn't at the top of my list, but it is a good school and it's location is great (literally 2 miles from DC). Apparently, it's kind of a conservative school, I was a bit baffled that they accepted me, until I realized that I hadn't sent them my radicalized personal statement, but rather my less agressive one about my goals as a lawyer.

It is kind of weird to finally have an acceptance under my belt, as my Dad said, I'm batting 500. I'm excited to see what the next few weeks will bring, nervously waiting for some of my other reach schools to reveal their feelings for me and my application. Still no word from Yale. Pretty sweet that they didn't auto-deny me for my horrific LSAT score. Maybe they do care about what's on the inside....I sure hope so.

Well Hello February...Kind of Wish You Didn't Rear Your Ugly Face!

2010-02-01T16:46:00.000-08:00

Today is the first day of February and in full February style the weather is shit-tastic. Cold. Rain. Wind. My God. Will it ever end? There is a reason why February is the shortest month of the year. Also, it is Monday, so the glorious nature of Monday suckitude paired with the unrelenting crap-tide of February have created a very depressing and dark start to the week.

I literally did n-o-t-h-i-n-g at work today, except for play games on Facebook. To tell you the truth, I don't think my boss even noticed, or for that matter cared. I think that he has a lot of work to do, but I on the other hand have nothing. Not even anything to mail today. Le sigh.

Oh, I was going to write about my latest foray into productivity. Last week after months of delaying (um yes, I know you are soo surprised that I procrastinated...) I decided to research some gyms. Seeing as how I will very likely not be residing in the area/state/country in 7 months or so, I needed to find a place that was a) Cheap, b) not creepy, c) Offered Monthly memberships, and d) had locker rooms and a shower for god's sake!

So on Tuesday I embarked on my after-work adventure into gym research. My first stop was OZ fitness very strangely located in the Gateway Mall. I had my reservations going in, because I had always been the person walking in the mall saying "My God, what are they doing working out at Gateway Mall" But I am desperate to whip my office ass into shape so I ventured over there.

First of all, everyone there was very nice and their facilities were pretty impressive for being in Gateway Mall. When I inquired about a membership they asked me if I had a few minutes to spare to sit and chat with a representative and get a tour, etc...So according to these people "a few minutes"= an hour and a half. This guy, who was really sweet, literally asked me everything you could think of. What were my fitness goals? What areas of my body do I want to improve (ummm...my ass, duh!) How many calories do I eat each day (scary question)? Etc. For an hour and a half. It wasn't until the last ten minutes that he divulged to me the cost of a membership. Seriously I almost shit my pants. Apparently, to join it costs upwards of $250, just to enroll. Then, they try to get you to sign up for these personal trainer sessions which cost upwards of $300 for four sessions (session lengths are not disclosed...).

It took all of my might not to laugh in this guy's face. I was out of there as quick as my flabby legs could take me.

The next day, having refused to accept that a gym membership was going to kill my monthly budget, I came across a nice gym with no enrollment fee and a monthly plan ($40/month). On Saturday I decided to test out my new accomodations and it went pretty well. I hopped onto the treadmill and did my two miles or so and then I noticed some old lady yapping at the guy next to me. I was like, man that lady is way too old to be with that dude, maybe they are a mother-son workout pair. How Cute!!. What I didn't know though, due to the fact that I had my iPod blaring Britney Spears, is that she was bitching at both of us because apparently neither of us had signed up to use the treadmills.

Now, I can sympathize if someone jumps onto a machine that you signed up for, but listen, this lady had not signed up for the treadmills we were using, plus there were literally 4 other treadmills open. As stated before, I didn't hear her bitching while I was running, but when I went to get the sanitizer for the machine, she made a point of seeking me out to bitch at me again. I explained that I was new and didn't know there was a sign-up system for the cardio machines...and then she offered to show me how to sign up. Wow. Like I couldn't figure it out on my own. Thanks lady. I hope when I'm an old lady I can be just like you, a Treadmill Nazi that has nothing better to do than bitch at people for breaking gym policies. Oh the joys of retirement!

Also at my inaugural trip to my new gym I encountered two very strange figures. They were both wearing dark, non-workouty clothes and, you'll never guess it....Sunglasses. Please.I don't know if they were actually there together, but really, what are the odds of two ridiculous people being in the same gym at the same time and not be associated? I just keep wondering what their thought process was for their get-ups..."So babe, you think the sunglasses are too much for the gym? No way, honey! Those flourescent lights are bright, plus these glasses make us look important and unique...like we're celebrities."

Dear Vampire couple,
I understand you may have some unrealized fitness goals, with all of your late nights and blood sucking and all, but are you really working out with sunglasses on? Are you too cool for school. Me thinks not.

Sincerely,
Gabby

Thirsty Thursday

2010-01-28T15:27:00.000-08:00

No, I'm not going out drinking. I just didn't know what to title this entry, so I resorted to that alliteration. Well, I haven't really gotten any other news on the law school front today. University of Georgia's Status checker says that they have reviewed my application and are holding it for further review.

Ahh, the illustrious "hold" status. Is it a wait list? Is it a rejection in disguise? No one really knows what being "held" by a law school means, but I'm damn sure that it isn't as sweet and cuddly as it sounds. I think I would liken it to being in limbo--not knowing of which way you are headed until the big guy(s) upstairs tell you your elevator is going up or down....

Oh and the other semi-big news is that my status at William and Mary went from "Application Ready for Review" to "Decision Pending" on 1/22/10. This is kind of exciting, I think. Not sure what my chances are. Getting the ding from Berkeley yesterday has me cringing at every email I receive (most of which are junk mail type things from Borders, Amazon.com, or Victoria's Secret). Either way I should know pretty soon because it's been almost a week in the "Decision Pending" status.

Today hasn't been my best day for self-control. First, I have probably done the status-check dance 3 or 4 times already and it's not even 5 yet. Second, I ate french-fries for lunch. Third, I decided to apply to another school. Yes, yes, I know. I said just earlier this week that I wasn't going to apply anywhere else, but hey, if Berkeley's out, I might as well add a replacement. I decided to apply to Forham's part-time evening program in Manhattan. I guess I can justify it because I didn't apply to any schools in NY, though if they actually let me in, I'm not sure how I'm going to justify the cost of living in Manhattan, Brooklyn here I come!

Well that's all for now, boring post about law school again! Readership be damned!

First News of the Cycle...and It's not Good.

2010-01-27T15:14:00.000-08:00

Well, got an email today from UC Berkeley informing me that they didn't want me. This, while not a complete shock, is still depressing. I mean did you even read my Personal Statement Berk? Were you not aware that I am some radical feminist crazy pants lady? Come on! Admitting me would mean renewing your uber-liberal image. All you care about are numbers you superficial pig! Don't you know it's what's on the inside that counts?

In similar news, as if it weren't obvious from the paragraph above, I am now in defensive mode coming up with all sorts of reasons why I didn't want to go to Berkeley anyways. Here's what I've got so far:
1. San Francisco is not my favorite city.
2. Driving in SF is terrible
3. Golden Gate park museums have craptastic hours of operation that make no sense.
4. Traffic signals are strange there, with their at-all-times-blinking-red and such
5. The Fog--Eddie Izzard fans, you know what I'm talking about.
6. Quite possible that the nerve-gas scenario from The Rock could actually come to fruition.
7. It's smelly there.
8. The weather sucks. See #5. It's like, yeah you're in California, but not far enough away from Oregon to escape our weather.
9. UC schools lack funding and wouldn't give me any money to go.

See Berkeley, I never wanted you anyways, and as far as I'm concerned, I dumped you first!

Law School Intervention

2010-01-25T14:28:00.000-08:00

Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. Believe it or not, I almost just applied to another school. As if 21 weren't enough! What in god's name is my problem? Am I addicted to applying to law school? Do I relish the thought of more rejections, or, if we're being optimistic, acceptances? Luckily, something in my brain made me stop and say "No Gabby. Notre Dame doesn't need your application, and you don't need to spend another $70 to apply to some school you know nothing about. Stop trying to rationalize it. It isn't rational. Now go back to work!"

Wow. Interventionist inside my head? Where have you been all my life?

Resolutions Much?

2010-01-25T13:44:00.000-08:00

So today during my lunch break I decided to be productive by going to Oil Can Henry's to get a long over due oil change. This foray into "productivity" is a recent trend which began last week when I successful did what I had been avoiding for literally 3 months--I went and bought new tires. I hate the idea of buying new tires. You go in, pay them your large amount of money and then are forced to sit in the tire building watching soap operas as old men sit next to you gumming the free popcorn. The smell of tires is nauseating--really, I mean can you imagine being an employee there? Everyday when you get home from work you have to jump into the shower because you are covered in the smell of tire rubber. Ick! But, I gots to admit, those people make bank. If you figure how much it costs each popcorn gumming fool to get new tires, maybe the bad smell is drowned out by the smell of money.

Apart from the geriatrics and the smell, my trip to the tire place was successful. Well, sort of. You see my car is great. It's reliable, gets good gas mileage, etc. But the thing is, it has over 200,000 miles on it. Yeah, that's right, it's been around. I only tell you this because spending $300+ dollars on "great" tires for a car that only god-knows-how-much-longer-it-will-last is rough. Especially while considering that in a few months I will be jobless and the proud new owner of a heaping pile of steamy student loans. But, I guess I figure that if I take care of my little Carol-the-Camry, she will stick it out with me.

That being said, I knew that there were other things Carol needed--namely an oil change. Off I went to the Oil Can Henry's thinking it would be a quick-twenty-buck fix, well not exactly. I don't know if I'm just some dumbass who doesn't know shit about cars and what they need, or if Carol really did need the oil change, new air filter, new transmission and steering fluid, etc. that those nice young men sold me there. Regardless, she got it all. I treated Carol like a gold-digging hooker, I mean she got the works. I have the bill to prove it. Looking back now, I still can't figure out if those charmers at Henry's duped me, or if I should feel good about spending three figures on what I thought was going to be a simple oil change. Either way, I have resolved that I need to learn how to do that shit myself. I mean, damn! How hard can it be to empty fluids and then fill them again?

So moral of the story, being productive=expensive. I think I might need to start stripping in the evenings if this crap continues. Anyone know of any clubs hiring a lanky-pale-sasquatch-forest fairy-ginger with braces? Feel free to give them my number.

Blog Blog Blog

2010-01-25T13:24:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I know that I claimed in my last post that I would be distracting myself from the status-check dance by blogging, but clearly that has not been the case (and to my lone subscriber, for this I am sorry--I know you could use some distracting yourself...) Actually, instead of blogging myself, I have found a few other blogs that have been doing a great job of distracting me from checking my email every 10 seconds, and from actually getting any work done, well, at work.

Two of my favorite blogs (of course are all dealing with law/law school) are very funny and clever. I like to think that if we met in real life, we would all be great friends and drink coffee while sharing snarky comments about the people at the table next to us.

The first is The Namby Pamby, Attorney at Law, the chronicles of a slightly new, Chicago personal injury lawyer who must endure day in and day out the ramblings of money-hungry, slightly irrational clients. A true glimpse into the life of a lawyer...oh joy!

The second, which I discovered through Namby Pamby, is Thanks, but no Thanks, which follows the very witty and snarky life of a now 3L law student in Indiana? <---I think this is right, though she tries to make it unclear as to where she is located. Her correspondence with her roomate and other friends is hilariously sharp--saying what we only wish we could about the countless annoyances that abound in our world.

Anyways, I hope to take note of these bloggers and actually try to keep up on my posts, but if my past record is any indication, it may be a while....

News Update.

2010-01-13T14:33:00.000-08:00

As of yesterday, I have officially completed my law school applications. Now we must wait. Really, I feel as though each successive part of the law school process is more painful than the last. After finishing the LSAT I thought the worst was behind me. Then came the daunting personal statement--previous posts can attest to my frustrations. Eventually though I was able to come up with something that I wasn't completely uncomfortable about sending to strangers.

Now the waiting. For those not familiar with the law school application process, the waiting period after completing your applications can be filled with pessimism, obsession and food binging. What makes this period worse is the infamous Application Status Checker. Not all, but most schools have adopted this tool that allows applicants to go online and check the status of their application. While this may seem like a great way to stay abreast about your apps, what results is a constant and obsessive checking and re-checking--even though you know that they just received your application the day before. Supposedly it can take up to 8 weeks or longer to hear anything back from a school. Those closest to me know that patience is not my strongest suit, so I am currently trying to find ways to distract myself from the long, obsessive waiting. Solution? Blogging. At least for now.

Below you can find the heinous list of schools that I applied to. Don't ask me why I couldn't just pick 5 or even 10...

Baylor
Boston University
UCLA
~~UC Berkeley~~
Georgetown
George Mason
University of Georgia
Lewis and Clark
Loyola LA
Northeastern
University of Oregon
University of Texas
Tulane
Vanderbilt
Villanova
University of Virginia
University of Washington
Washington University
William and Mary
Washington and Lee
Yale

It's going to be a long 8 weeks.

How's that for a personal statement...

2009-12-08T15:07:00.000-08:00

So, if you haven't heard, I successfully took the LSAT last Saturday. When I say "successfully took" I merely mean that I was able to complete the 4+hour long test without having an emotional breakdown resulting in me tearing up my test booklet and eating it. Unfortunately, I will have to wait until the beginning of January for my results, but I am hoping for the best.

Meanwhile, this new found free time that I have is driving me up the wall. I am still struggling to find the answer to the question "What schools are you applying to?" and "What type of law do you want to pursue?" Not to mention the fact that I still don't have a personal statement written. I am seriously considering writing one that is completely inappropriate and sassy, afterall, they do want to know about me, right? Every time that I sit down to try and "brain storm" this damn statement I feel like anything I write sounds contrived, or worse, cliche.

I thought today I had produced an idea that was somewhat worthy of pursuit, but upon pursuance of said idea, I found myself lost once again. Basically what I jotted down on my legal pad at work was " Recipe P.S., a play on recipes," under which I proceeded to incoherently write things like "recipes and people, similar. initial ingredients may be the same, but results are unique" and it goes on and on, metaphor on top of metaphor, yada yada yada. So boring...

Damn Women!

2009-10-23T22:38:00.000-07:00

I just saw the most ridiculous one-sided report on 20/20. (I guess these two white men that are reporitng this are the "Super Freakenomics" guys-- I presume that means they are the Super Freakenomics authors...?) In the five minutes that I saw, this "report" they claimed that the birth control pill is responsible for our country's failing public education, that the glass ceiling doesn't exist, and that, as the "expert" claimed, "Women just love babies." Holy shit! Couldn't 20/20 have gotten Judith Butler or Jessica Valenti to pose some opposing position? Is this what counts for news today?

I, as someone who identifies as a woman am appauled by these claims. Is it true that birth control allowed women to make more decisions regarding pregnancy and therefore career choices? Yes. Did that lead to a decrease in smart women becoming teachers (a career that allows for flexibility for women with families) and an increase in women pursuing other, more time consuming professions like that of a doctor or a lawyer? Yes. But why should the focus be on luring smart women back into the teaching profession? Why shouldn't smart men be lured into teaching in public education? Should we do away with birth control so that we can keep all the women at home, pregnant, and in between pregnancies they can work as secretaries and teachers? Why don't we start paying teachers a wage that reflects the importance of their job? Maybe then we can get both smart women and smart men to be teachers.

So basically, women are to blame. Is that what I'm supposed to believe? Am I also supposed to believe that no discrimination exists in the professional world in which women face a glass ceiling that prevents them from excelling in the "man's world"? That's what these two fuck tards are claiming. They base these claims on some "results" that showed that men when enticed by the prospect of money, perform better on tests, whereas women perform the same regardless of monetary incentive. Thus, the perceived glass ceiling isn't there because of some deeply rooted sexism, but rather it's because women care more about having babies than making money. Furthermore they had the gaul to say that the instead of pursuing careers that earn a lot of money, women are more likely just to marry rich and pop out some kids.

Could you possibly generalize more about "women" and "men" and what they want? Why is it so hard for people to understand that women are not all the same. Men are not all the same. Women and men are not the same. Every individual has experiences informed on their race, class, gender, sex, religion that creates an experience and identity that is unique to themselves. Some groups may have shared experiences of things like racism, discrimination, privilege, etc. But to claim that all women want the same thing or that all men are motivated by the same thing is rediculous. I am motivated by money and I'm not a man. Does that mean that I'm not a woman? If I want a career and don't want babies, does that make me a "bad" woman?

If the answer is yes, then so be it. You can suck my never-to-be-used ovaries, tool bags!

Off the soap box, and back into Reality

2009-10-01T15:19:00.000-07:00

So, I have to admit that my last post was, well...aggressive. I was having an extremely awkward bad day. Just one of those days that you can't shake the feeling that you should be doing something with your life. I reacted so feverishly towards my discovery of Lipton tea as a Unilever brand, that I completely forgot that I was arguing about tea. I am realizing now how much my partner must love that I have re-started this blog because it allows him to read, or more importantly to not read the rantings of my mind- a luxury he is not afforded when I unload on him in person.

I suppose at times I feel like I need to say something, anything, about everything. Every little thing. And I would be lying if I said that showing women-and all human beings respect wasn't important to me, because it is. But somedays I am just uncertain as to whether the rantings of a 20-something's mind carry any weight when paired with other things in this life.

I think it was my mother's reaction to my ranting that really made me reflect. She was essentially raised by her English-Immigrant grandmother, who would always drink Lipton tea-- a tradition that she shared with me while I was growing up. She told me that it was the memory of her grandmother that prevented her from letting my factoids get at her loyalty to the tea. And I guess that her story may be reason enough to keep drinking...to honor a great woman and the memories we hold of her.

Never saw it coming...

2009-09-30T18:51:00.000-07:00

So after work today I headed out to my parents house to visit and catch-up. I have been recovering from a cold all week and so my mom suggested that I make some tea. I proceeded to boil the water and grab my second favorite type of tea --good old Liptons. As I was disposing of the tea bag wrapper I noticed something that had escaped me every other time I had made this brand of tea: the infamous name Unilever was starring right at me. Now, most readers at this point are likely wondering why I am so worked up about tea, or a brand that is better known for it's personal hygiene products, but I can explain.

About a year ago I decided to boybott all Unilever products. Now I am not typically the type of person to boycott things, although I think I boycotted tuna in 5th grade because I found out they were killing dolphins in order to make my sandwhiches...Anyways, last year in a class that I took from my very talented friend, Courtney, we watched a viral video/commercial created by Dove ( a Unilever brand) that was part of their "Real Beauty Campaign"- which if you are unfamiliar was a series of commercials that had all of these "Real" women (whatever that means) in all phases of undress, in some sort of attempt to point out that Dove isn't just for the skinny models that they formerly employed in their ads, but that their products are for "Real" women too. Sooo...the video we watched in class was a bit different than their ads. Essentially it was warning about all of the negative images young girls are exposed to in advertising, saying that parents need to talk to their female children to let them know that just because they don't look like the skinny models in ads, doesn't mean they aren't beautiful (forget about talking to your male children about the diversity of beauty and female and male shapes!!!) Now, don't get me wrong. This video was powerful. Extremely correct and potentially useful. But, and it's a BIG but (no pun intended) even though this video was warning against the body-conscious evils that young women and girls are bombarded with in the media, it turns out that Unilver was, at the same time, producing commericals like this, this, and this to advertise for Dove's sister brand, AXE.

Hmm...Where are all the female-positive images in these ads Unilver? Where is the "Real" beauty and "Real" women you show us in your Dove ads? It is pretty sad. To sell something to men, you need to sexualize and degrade women. To sell products to women, you need to make them feel better about themselves by telling them that theirs is a real beauty.

Finally, my point may be becoming clearer. I boycott Unilever products because the company, in my eyes, is evil. It will do anything to sell a product. Whether it's body spray that promises to make sorority girls swoon all over your "member" or a facial moisturizer that promises not to judge you for your saddlebags, Unilver is unilaterally perpetuating the stereotypes about women that it claims to be combatting.

Now, I understand that in the world of business and money making, companies, especially international power players like Unilever don't give a flying fuck about principles, but I believe that a company who openly uses sexist marketing campaigns for one of its brands, and then denounces the same type of advertising scheme in its other is hypocritical, and therefore should die a very painful death. So it pains me to discover that a tea that I have so enjoyed for years and years, which I thought was owned by some London-based company that just loved to sell tea, is actually owned by the devil incarnate, Unilever-who loves to sell T-N-A, or self-esteem--whichever will make them more money.

I'm sure that some will laugh at all of this ranting, saying things like, "just because you refuse to buy their soap or their tea, doesn't change anything" But to me, every sale that I can take from a company that seeks to perpetuate degrading and sexualized stereotypes about women is a battle won for me.

Rant...

2009-09-28T09:30:00.000-07:00

So last night I met up with a group of my "girl" friends, all of which are a year younger than me, and therefore are still in the mystical land of college. Anyways, one of my friends mentioned that she was going to see a movie after dinner, and of course being the movie lover that I am, I inquired as to which film she was going to see. She proceeded to tell me that she was going with some other "girl" friends to see I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell....

I immediately, and without the usual watered-down-non-feminist-friends tone, exclaimed my disappointment in her choice of "film"-though I dare anyone to argue that this thing is really a "film." I then began explaining that I could not understand how a woman would willingly pay money-a lot of money, movies are spendy these days- to watch some bullshit movie about douchebag frat boys and their womanizing ways. Why, I asked, would you want to contribute to the normalization and distribution of such images and behaviors? Oh, but apparently it is entertaining to watch men make sexual objects out of women, to use them and throw them away, just so that they can possess the next sexually convenient "thing." Now, I'm sure that the producers/writers/tool bags who made this "film" will undoubtedly try to redeem it's blatantly inappropriate and disgusting "plot" with some sappy ending that demonstrates the tool bag "hero" has met the "one" and learned to rehabilitate his evil ways-but is that really even an acceptable answer? Replacing one misogynistic theme with an even more annoying stereotype of women as the reformers of bad behaving men, and reinforcing the idea that Disney-like happy endings exist? Yuck! I seriously lost my appetite just thinking about it.

Of course my concerns were met with laughter. Partly because I'm sure they didn't understand how I could get so fired up about some movie, and partly because I have a gift of gab to make even my most serious objections sound funny (most likely due to the fact that when discussing things I hate, I often use words like "tool bag" or "Christey"). And then they of course said "We wouldn't expect anything less from you, Gabby."

Hmm...

Rable-Rousing Gabby at it again, she's so funny with her intellectual individuality and feminist rantings. Too bad not one of them even stopped to actually consider what I was saying....Don't get me wrong. I love my friends. But I just wish that our interests were more in-line. Less Coach handbags and more male douchebags, is that too much to ask for?

Meh...

2009-09-16T23:04:00.000-07:00

News Posts for Wednesday, September 16, 2009:

1. Hours spent studing for LSAT: 4

2. Number of breakdowns: 2

3. Number of times I convinced myself to give up and pursue other things (for example, Medical school, Pastry school, really anything BUT Law School): 8

4. Number of times I decided to keep going: 7.5

That has pretty much been my day....Oh and I have no idea what to write for my personal statement. Seriously considering faking some sort of hardship story just so that I have something interesting to write about....They wouldn't check to see if I actually had a toddler, right? (Just kidding Bar Administrators, I would never misrepresent any personal information about myself, I promise).

Law School Luncheon

2009-09-11T13:40:00.000-07:00

So after a long morning of thinking and worrying about law school (triggered of course by my Boss' inquiry into my current plans), I was luckily saved from utter self-defeat by a nice luncheon with my friend, and upcoming UW law student, Andy. As usual, Andy graciously listened to all of my worries, concerns, and self-doubts, and encouraged me to just do it.

Here is a list of today's possible law schools, in no particular order...The first of course only was added after Andy's insistence and "why the hell not" attitude:

Yale University Law School:

US Rank: #1
Location: Connecticut
LSAT needed: At least 170

Duke University Law School:

US Rank: #10
Location: North Carolina
LSAT: 165-170

Tulane University Law School:

US Rank: #45
Location: Louisiana
LSAT: 159-163

Vanderbilt:

US Rank:#17
Location: Tennessee
LSAT: 164-168

UC Davis:

US Rank #35
Location: California
LSAT: 158-163

University of Washington:

US Rank: #30
Location: Seattle, WA
LSAT: 159-166

Washington University:

US Rank: # 19
Location: Missouri
LSAT: 162-167

UCLA:

US Rank:# 15
Location: California
LSAT: 164-169

Boston College:

US Rank: # 26
Location: Boston, MA
LSAT: 162-166

Boston University:

US Rank: #20
Location, Boston, MA
LSAT: 163-166

University of Alabama:

US Rank:#30
Location:Tuscaloosa, Alabama
LSAT: 160-165

William and Mary:

US Rank: #28
Location: Williamsburg, VA
LSAT: 160-166

University of Cincinnatti:

US Rank: #52
Location: Ohio
LSAT: 156-162

University of Texas, Austin:

US Rank:#15
Location: Austin,TX
LSAT: 164-168

Decisions, Decisions....
What is a girl to do?

Well, upon Andy's advice, my first step is to study for the LSAT. Easier said than done...

LIFE

2009-09-10T15:18:00.000-07:00

LIFE

Laughable
Impossible
Frustrating
E....

Yes, I was unable to finish the above acrostic poem. The task reminded me of my neice, who is 10. When we were in Germany visiting my sister and her family, my neice had her last day of school. The teacher had assigned each child with the task of creating an acrostic poem of thier name. Now when she showed me these poems and told me what they were called, I didn't belive her. Her sweet little 10-year-old voice told me "It's an acrostics poem" but to me, the word, which sounded more like "Across-dicks"(I know, get my mind out of the gutter), just didn't seem right, but a quick trip to Google proved me wrong.

I have no idea what made me think of this, or what possessed me to try a "LIFE" acrostics. It was a lot harder than I thought it would be. Once I had almost finished it, I began to think about what words my neice would have used. Hers would most likely go something like this:
LIFE:

Lively
Important
Fun
Exciting

It kind of makes me wish I was 10 again....

Rising From the Ashes

2009-09-10T11:59:00.000-07:00

Upon the advice of a dear friend, and wise instructor, I have resurected my Blog. Nearly four years after starting, and stopping this blog, I have returned. I do find it strange that I have chosen this time in my life, a time when there really isn't that much going on, (compared of course to the last four years of my life during which time I subconsciously refused to document the goings-ons of my college adventure) to start blogging again.

But with numerous soul-searching questions rattling around in my college educated brain, I thought that this may be a constructive outlet to organize some of my thoughts. If nothing else, it should serve as a good place to rant and rave about all the things that drive me wild.

So here is a list of current event updates from the past few months-just to get you up to speed:

1. I have become a cake-fanatic. After teaching myself how to decorate cakes and making my brother's wedding cake (yes, Gavin got married last summer!) I got a job as a weekend cake decorator at Alberstons. I am trying now to hone in on my baking skills to expand beyond just decorating cakes and cupcakes.

2. I have successfully graduated from UO undergrad, with two degrees. History and Political Science.

3. I am gainfully employed as a legal assistant to an Estate planning/business law attorney in Eugene.

4. I have just moved in to my own place in Springfield (gasp!) after living with Eric for two years. And no, that doesn't mean we aren't together anymore.

5. Many people, including myself, are under the impression that I should go to law school.

6. I have not taken the LSAT.

Well Thank God For That...

2005-12-16T00:42:00.000-08:00

Well, to my amazement I have made it through my first term of college without dying of meningitis, food poisoning, sleep deprivation, or any other unforseeable event. My first term was trying at times, but all in all a success. I made it through the storm with both my wonderful boyfriend and reputation of being a scholar in tact.
What now you ask? We're going to Disney Land!!!! No not really, if I had any say in it I would be headed off to some tropical locale or Europe. But lone behold I will be staying in Oregon for the extent of my vacation, primarily Pleasant Hill, and if I'm lucky, Corvallis.
I'm grateful for the end of the term and the beginning of Winter break, and I'm super-psyched to have a lover during the holidays, to keep my hands warm....

Odi et Amo...

2005-11-19T19:45:00.000-08:00

Odi et amo, quare id faciam fortasse requiris?
Nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior.
~Catullus
I never thought my Humanities class would teach me something useful, and real. Emotions in literature can withstand the tests of time, this is my lesson. Odi et Amo, a conundrum for sure...
I love you sooo much, that's all I know for sure, and that's enough for me.

I Never Thought I'd See The Day....

2005-11-15T19:16:00.000-08:00

So, I was flipping through my limited amount of channels and I came accross the Oxygen Channel(one of my personal favorites!<---Statement drenched in sarcasm) And surprise, surprise, the Tyra Banks' talk show was on. And guess who was her guest? Sue Johanson! That's right the creepy old sex lady. Talk about bad programming! The Oxygen Channel is trying to endorse one bad show with another. Crazy Talk!!! BAHHHHH

Let's talk about sex baby...

2005-11-06T23:05:00.000-08:00

Wow, the "Oxygen" channel never fails to amaze me. This so-called women's channel is one of 17 cable channels I recieve on my dorm TV(a little side note I'm supposed to get like 50 channels-God know's I'm paying enough in living expenses to get 50 cable channels- but somehow through the luck of the draw I got a room with a damaged cable box, thus leaving my cable handicapped) Anyways, this channel show the most random programs, and they are all supposed to be appealing to women, this as a woman insults me a little. For God's sake Tyra Banks has her own talk show!
So on Sundays(and maybe even other nights) at 11 o'clock this old woman named Sue Johanson has her own show called "Talk Sex", and needless to say it's a sex advice show. For those who haven't had the pleasure of seeing this show, this woman has got to be about 65 years old (at least) and her voice is really disgustingly old lady-ish. She isn't shy about using her hands to demonstrate sexual movements, but if her hands just won't do, she has demonstration dolls which is even more disturbing.
As I watch this show, mind you while I should be doing homework, I wonder why does this old lady have a sex talk show? I find the whole idea of a granny talking about sex, sexual positions, gynecological terms, anal sex!!!, and getting off in general very very disturbing not to mention a turn off. Furthermore, what has qualified her to host such a show, they offer no professional title along with her name. So I ask you this: Is being an old lady qualify you to talk about sex and answer people's questions about sex? Or is it that she's just an old promiscuous lady that supposedly had adequate sexual experience to advise others on the matter?
"Penis thrusting in vagina"-Sue Johanson aka the ultimate form of abstinance
UGH!!!
Alright, I'm done ranting for the night, check it out if you don't believe me, or if you are just curious

2005-11-01T18:07:00.000-08:00

This is me, in case you didn't know

The Wagon

2005-11-01T17:50:00.000-08:00

Well, after seeing that so many college students have their own blogs I figured it was about time that I jumped on the proverbial blog band wagon. The blog is a mysterious thing that essentially serves as an internet diary that anyone and everyone who cares to look can. Seems to me like the perfect outlet for ranting and saying "Rable, Rable" as much as you want with little or no scrutiny.